I Do Not Raise My Child, My Child Raises Me. 

It’s interesting how our lives completely change with the entry of a new life, a life who’s been growing inside of you (inside a mother) who now you can see, touch, feel, sense, love and care. With the birth of a baby, a new parent is born. So why do we say that we raise our child? What does raising a child mean? I had this thought trigger my mind when I read a quote /thought on parenting and how it was very beautifully defined that ‘parenting is not about raising children, it’s also about raising parents’. How true is that! And so I truly feel – ‘I do not raise my child, my child raises me’. Here’s how I feel about myself being raised by my child… 

Ofcourse we’ve been raised too by our parents. But I feel that the children raise parents more than the parents do. How many of us have changed ourselves for better to set an example or be a role model for our children? I’m sure all of us. How many times did we discipline our habits and behaviours before disciplining our children? Well, all the time! So aren’t our children raising us? They are raising us into better personalities, better human beings, better souls and into better parents. Since the day my baby is born, I have been very cautious about all that I do, all that I eat, behave, everything, simply because I want to be that person before I can make my daughter into what I want her to be.

My mother once told to me, “be the woman you want your daughter to be” and this line was enough to send ripples down my mind and heart. I’ve been trying to be exactly that. I’ve been trying to be a better parent, a better friend, a better sister, wife, so much more. I truly believe that our children raise us. Take smallest of examples, right from how we choose the best of things for them- best schools, food, clothes, the best decisions and actions in the interest of our children, etc etc., so who has made us think of the ‘best’ always? We want to be the best parents to our children. Ask yourselves why!? We’re constantly being raised by our children every single moment. We do what we do because of them. We must never believe that we are doing something for them. They are doing everything for us. We work hard and better everytime because they make us do it.

Before becoming parents, my husband and I weren’t so sober and calm in behaviour and lifestyle, in the sense that we lived our lives as individuals, with our own identities, doing things that pleased us without much thought. Not that we were irresponsible but after becoming parents, we have been more subtle, sober, thoughtful, more responsible, basically we have started living our lives together, as parents more connected because of our new baby. This baby has been a part of both our souls and we are all that we are because of her. She has given birth to the parents in us,she has formed us. We believe that we’ve given birth to a whole new life, but don’t often realize that a new life has created us, raised us as parents. We wouldn’t become parents if not for our child. There’s a deeper sense of maturity that one gains as parents. It’s a very indepth feeling to be thinking of all this but I feel it makes complete sense. 

Our kids nurture us, emotionally, socially and spiritually. Parenting is a never ending process and so is raising ourselves into one. Think of your own times of when you felt empowered as children, then tap your inner child to see and know where your children are coming from- you’ll hear the power of your own voices. Our children will teach us more that what we teach or will teach them ever. Let’s be grateful to our children and the maturity we’ve gained and that we will gain during the course of this beautiful parenting journey because of them. Embrace this time, accept your own inadequacies and truly listen to your children’s voices.

Always remember that as parents, we are improving our own inner lives. We might be raising our children in certain ways but our children are simultaneously raising us. Let’s join hands to listen to ourselves say that our children will grow us up as we grow them up.

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