I’ve grown up hearing the quote – ‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’, but honestly this never resonated with me ever. I’ve never related myself to this one or even believed in this for once. I wonder why! I have many imaginations running in my head just at the mention of the word – beauty. True beauty to me means how I see myself with my own eyes. I don’t look for the answer in the beholder’s eyes. I do not need anyone to tell me that I look beautiful because Beauty has different parameters to different people. Some may find beauty in a dried up rose and some may not find beauty in even a lively, fresh rose swaying happily to the wind. Some may find Beauty in being themselves and some may constantly need assurance about themselves from people around them. It can never be the same to any two persons.
If I think about looking at beauty outside of me, I’ve always believed that there is nothing more rare or more beautiful than a woman who takes the pride and dignity in who she is! Embracing your true and real self radiates your true beauty that cannot be diluted or ignored. That beautiful and radiant essence defines you and your soul. I’ve always believed in that fact that anyone can feel beautiful with confidence, a positive attitude, and a loving heart. Also I do not relate beauty to only physical and outer appearance. These facts may fade away too sooner than one realises. But who you are from within and what you project yourself to be shows how beautiful you truly are! Also beauty to me is not just about superficial beauty or something that can be fixed with make up, creames or touch ups. No Beauty can be created externally or by using external agents. This is all substantial and non lasting. True beauty only is a reflection of yourself, your inner self. An ugly personality or a bad attitude will show through any physical features no matter how beautiful one is on the outside!
It’s time we had a new description and not definition of ‘beauty’. It’s also time that society sees beauty with a broader sense of relating beauty to all things or even thoughts, concepts or ideas that appeal to the senses. One must not differentiate or categorise beauty with colour, age, texture, gender, caste or creed. We’ve always been taught in school that ‘beautiful’ word has got to do with the girls, the feminine gender and ‘handsome’ for the boys, the male gender. While there is absolutely nothing wrong in these preachings but this seeds in greater mindsets and ideas in the tiny, innocent minds. A thing of beauty is not gender based. It has a broader outlook. Beauty can be seen in nature, in its creator, in various forms of artwork, in small human gestures, in relationships, in being selfless, being compassionate, virtuous, in being a giver or also in being humane. I’ve never liked to teach my daughter many opposite words like they have in English language. I remember schools teaching children beautiful X ugly, good X bad; but I personally like to teach her that if there’s any opposite word for beautiful or good it can be not so beautiful or not so good because beautiful means different to you and me and the rest of the world. Also I would like to raise her with the belief that beauty is something very personal, it has got to do with you purely and do not ever look for any answer or definition for it from anyone apart from you. The world loves to categorise it for you but you must only believe in your own description of it.
Today, true beauty to me is my daughter who’s love is pure, selfless and unconditional. She is a reflection of me in her. She teaches me to be myself in every bit that I do. We all know that motherhood changes the entire dynamics of a woman’s life. With less time in hand and alot of things to manage, one cannot pause to think what beauty means but it’s for my daughter that I’m reliving the entire new meaning of it. She has taught me that beauty lies in being composed, in being my true self, in not trying to fix anything in me but to cherish my deepest secrets and accepting the reality. She has taught me that it’s absolutely alright to have dark circles for they are my true make up. They are reminders of those moments I spent in taking care of my kiddo and times that I’ve been blessed to experience her grow. She has taught me that it’s absolutely ok to put on as much weight as I want to for giving birth to a new life is incomparable to anything else under the sun. She has taught me to take charge of my life and live it with complete happiness in who I am and not what I was and what I can be. Living in the present is what makes me truly beautiful.
The most recent incident between me and my daughter gives me a different perspective of beauty; where she comes up to me just before we left for the party, she says, “Mumma, you look beautiful”. Now this is that very first moment when I start to believe that yes, sometimes beauty does lie in the eyes of the beholder. But this Beauty is the innocence of a child, the pure love of a daughter for her mother and nothing else! And so I believe that true beauty comes from the kind of person you are, the choices you make and how you treat other people!